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標題: 自信與謙卑 [打印本頁]
作者: ACC-HE    時間: 2009-4-17 09:36     標題: 自信與謙卑

兩者有衝突嗎？
作者: rockypath    時間: 2009-4-17 10:27

有自信先可以真正謙卑
作者: shutterbug    時間: 2009-4-17 11:15

if you're over 自信 then you're not 謙卑 lor...

自信 is a good thing if it's not over the limit
作者: Littleprince    時間: 2009-4-17 11:21

有自信先可以真正謙卑
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 11:27

good, good, good
作者: tofu    時間: 2009-4-17 11:28

有自信先可以真正謙卑 - agree
作者: ACC-HE    時間: 2009-4-17 11:28

本帖最後由 ACC-HE 於 2009-4-17 12:54 編輯
有自信先可以真正謙卑

please elaborate?
作者: chocobun    時間: 2009-4-17 12:31

please elaborate?
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 12:28

people who lack self confidence will tend to become arrogant as a outside wall to protect their weak confidence...

but those who are confident they dont need to say anything to proof themselves and they can be more 謙卑
作者: zuesel    時間: 2009-4-17 13:26

people who lack self confidence will tend to become arrogant as a outside wall to protect their weak confidence...

but those who are confident they dont need to say anything to proof themselves and  ...
chocobun 發表於 2009-4-17 12:31


Totally agree! Those who speak, act, loudly to get attention are the ones lacking self confidence and have low self-esteem. I know a few as my personal friends and even some ppl in LYK. My friends who are like that are soooooooooo annoying. They talk about themselves alot and like to be-little others at any chance they can get! Seems they are the only ppl living in the world or the universe revolves around them!
作者: ACC-HE    時間: 2009-4-17 13:33

okay.. back to the topic... So.. how can one be truly humble yet also self-confident?
作者: somewhereintime    時間: 2009-4-17 13:43

9# ACC-HE

Self-actualization, you understand yourself better than anyone else.
Don't even bother what others think of you, you are unique that
nobody could impersonate
作者: ACC-HE    時間: 2009-4-17 13:48

"Don't even bother what others think of you"... i don't think that'll work.
作者: somewhereintime    時間: 2009-4-17 14:01

Would be difficult when you are still green.
I managed to do it when I was 30 and it works
作者: ACC-HE    時間: 2009-4-17 14:04

haha... 'cause you've built your resume, and ppl just automatically respect you?
作者: chocobun    時間: 2009-4-17 14:06

it works... maybe not 100% care about what other people think, but over time you'll start to care less. it takes time.

i used to think about every single movement or sentence i do or say... just because i care about what anyone would think, even if i dont know that person... back then i have no self confidence at all.  but then it got too stressful so i decided to learn to ignore what people think. for people you dont know like strangers on the street, who cares what they think cuz you dont even know them and you would most likely never bump into them again? as for those who you know, as long as it doesnt harm others, it's your life... who are they to tell you what to do or look down at you for what you do? afterall you just live once, if you worry about what others think too much you'll miss out lots in life.

just do something that you like to do and you are good at, then you'll achieve self-actualization... then you'll have confidence in yourself. when you dont care too much of others might think you wont brag about it and you can stay humble.
作者: somewhereintime    時間: 2009-4-17 14:12

haha... 'cause you've built your resume, and ppl just automatically respect you?
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 14:04

People know me well would forgive my short come
I treat people with sincere and faith, and is from my heart,
whatever they think is not something I can control;
say I would donate half of my liver to my ailing friend if it would
save his live (not die for him, I'm not that generous yet):
作者: zuesel    時間: 2009-4-17 14:39

本帖最後由 zuesel 於 2009-4-17 14:59 編輯

In my opinion,

you can be self confident and humble when....
-You are sure of yourself but don't have to show it off all the time.
-Your actions don't intimate others.
-You don't feel that you (know it all) and you open to others opinion. You discuss instead of argue to win.
-You are well knowledged but don't feel that you know everything!
-Know that you can always learn something from someone else
-You are sure of yourself but can still have room for improvement
-You are not always try to compete with others

I know I am confident yet humble:
-When others seek my opinions and ask me for advise.
-When others pay attention to me when I speak
-I don't need tangible things to make me feel confident. Ie: Wealth or feel low self esteemed if I don't have a LV bag.

I know I am not humble and not cofident (but thought that I am) when:
-I make sure that my voice is heard by others
-I crave for attention
-I am not open to others suggestions
-I am always wanting to correct and critical of others
-Others respond by ignoring me
-Others like to challenge me
-A discussion always turns to a debate or argument
-I look down on others
-When I base my selfworth on how others view me
作者: rockypath    時間: 2009-4-17 15:05

Don't even bother what others think of you.
somewhereintime 發表於 2009-4-17 14:43


This is a very classic behaviour example of having low-confidence & lack of self-esteem.
作者: Littleprince    時間: 2009-4-17 15:11

okay.. back to the topic... So.. how can one be truly humble yet also self-confident?
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 14:33

there isn't any conflict at all, why?
作者: rockypath    時間: 2009-4-17 15:18

14# chocobun


Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself off from the surroundings, but actually it is not likely to help you build up the self-confidence.

I used to lack of self-esteem as well (maybe I am still be) and it took a long process to slowly build up the self-confidence. It is not just keep telling myself who I am and do not care how other people think about myself.

It, in fact, is a process of starting from very small tasks & goals. By achieving those small goals and moving to bigger goals, I slowly build up the self-confidence that way.
作者: chocobun    時間: 2009-4-17 15:22

14# chocobun


Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself of ...
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 16:18


i'm not saying ignore completely.
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the other person wasn't even criticizing.

some people would modify their actions and change who they are just because of listening to a sentence or two that others are saying
作者: rockypath    時間: 2009-4-17 15:30

本帖最後由 rockypath 於 2009-4-17 16:37 編輯
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the oth ...
chocobun 發表於 2009-4-17 16:22


Agree with you.

One of my friends used to be like that and he cared so much about how people would think of him and he would go over every sentence in his mind before saying it. But he was totally stressed out to the point he could handle it no more and then he went to the other extreme.

Now he is much more balanced as he becomes more mature.
作者: zuesel    時間: 2009-4-17 15:31

i'm not saying ignore completely.
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the oth ...
chocobun 發表於 2009-4-17 15:22


that's exactly what i mean by "When I base my selfworth on how others view me"

ACHEE, exactly what are you looking for? Could you give an example or elaberate on your question a bit more or have some kind of sinario?
作者: chocobun    時間: 2009-4-17 15:37

Agree with you.

One of my friends used to be like that and he cared so much about how people would think of you and he would go over every sentence in his mind before saying it. But he was totally ...
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 16:30

i guess it's part of growing up.

no one can say they have 100% self confidence all their life.. haha if they say that they are just purely arrogant and nowhere close to humble :p just bluffing~
作者: somewhereintime    時間: 2009-4-17 17:37

"Don't even bother what others think of you"... i don't think that'll work.
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 13:48

Please refer to Mencius teaching:
Thoroughly examine yourself and find no shame,
even though thousands of opponents , I'll move forward
and,  the reform advocate Wang An Shieh
I will not fear when the sky change
I  dare  not to follow my ancestors' footsteps
I would not  be shaken by the  loud voice of oppositions
I can tell you the verse in Chinese.

Is it wrong being a nerd? Studying at the corner while all your buddies have gone to play?
Is it wrong to say no  homosexuality, drug , and causal sex?
Yes, it is not political correct,  and yes you'll be unpopular, but I have faith and I move toward my destiny.
It is not easy being young
作者: somewhereintime    時間: 2009-4-17 17:40

13# ACC-HE
Respect  and  trust are earned , and you have to work very hard to maintain them.



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