Maggie, you are going to marry for life. For two people with different cultures to marry, they have to respect each other's cultures. Your problem now might be only 禮金 but in the future, it might be more. such as different way to teach kids. He might forbide you to teach your kids Chinese since he does not like Chinese culture.
It's not good for you to talk to his mom about 禮金 but you can ask a third party which is mutual friend of both family and try to talk to his mom and see what's his mom position on all of this. But I think it's better to try to convince him and chaned his mind on this. Tell him since you respect his culture but ask him to respect yours too. Otherwise, there will be more problems in the future too.
You should tell your bf that he misunderstood the meaning of 聘金.
而有的是男方有給聘金，女方當成是嫁妝給女兒
女方就拿這錢去買家具
It's a Chinese custom for man to give money to the bride's family but in the mean time the bride's family can use the money to buy things for the bride. This will not sound like "selling daughter" any more.
jumptiger, please read my post #45. It's just about tradition and the money is mainly used for buying 嫁妝 for their daughter.
Just like when you go to a restaurant, it is a custom in Canada to give out tips to show gratitude. If you spend about $100 and you only give out $1 tips. How does that look? Can you say you are from east and are not customed to give tips? The only tme you gve less tips is because the service is not bad.
There is no fixed amount on the 聘金 but at least you should give out more reasonable amount. Each local area might have different scale on how much 聘金 is reasonable. He only gives out $10 means that he thinks her parents raised their daughter bad?
發表於 2008-1-7 09:23
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