只係想發洩… 男人, 真相, 愛情

Sakura

尋日我同一個我從未認識o既人傾偈，但係佢同我有一個共通點：
就係我o地都俾同一個男人呃過。
我亦發現o左一D我從來都唔知o既真相，一D我以前懷疑但係都選擇相信o既無楷理由。
可能我唔應該信一個我唔認識o既人o既片面之詞，但係假如我真係相錯o左…
咁怪就只能夠怪佢講o既大話多到我寧願信一個我唔認識o既人。

雖然我同佢已經成為過去2年有多啦，但係當我知道事實o既時候，我依然好唔開心…
我覺得自己好愚蠢…我身邊每個人都警告過我…
但係原來愛情真係可以令人變得好盲目。
所有o野都係我自己咎由自取

一幅一幅o既畫面從我腦海裡面再次浮現…
因為佢，我同Daddy，同表姐鬧交，落大雪要o係電話亭講電話，
收到第一份禮物，第一隻戒指，o係機場大家攬住痛哭，
我o係佢o架車度喊完佢返o黎攬住我安慰返我，講電話講通宵…
我真o係好難相信呢D情景全部都係假o既…

但係我再回想，就見到第二D畫面…
10次佢話會過o黎裡面，有8次都佢唔會出現。
仲係冇通知o既，即係失蹤，但係最後俾我發現佢一路都o係多倫多。
10次佢話寄禮物過o黎，有8次都話「唔知點解，可能寄失o左。」
當我喊o既時候，佢可以收線唔理我，亦可以停車丟底我。
聖誕節佢應承同我一齊過，結果因為第2個女仔，
佢淩晨5點o係一個我唔熟識o既多倫多某一條街度丟底我。
我最最最最記得o既係，我試過打俾佢，有個女仔聽電話。
佢話：「佢o係廁所，你邊位搵佢？」我話我係佢女朋友…
個女仔話：「我先係佢女朋友喎！你邊位呀？！」佢事後道歉，話同佢已經分o左手。
2個月後，我依然聽到呢個女仔把聲，佢話佢男朋友去o左廁所。
o個日係我o地最後一日做情侶。

分手後，試過淩晨3點飲醉酒打俾我，話好愛我，好掛住我，叫我唔好唔理佢。
佢話而家個女朋友唔好，冇我咁好，而家先知邊個對佢最好，好想要返我。
我心軟，最後應承o左只會同佢做返朋友，但係佢以後唔可以再呃我。
尋晚，我發現原來佢打俾我o個晚，佢當時已經有4個女朋友。
其實我想喊，但係真係喊唔出…我發覺，原來我對呢個人流o既眼淚，已經流乾了。
我發現，一個我拍o左拖6年，以為自己好了解o既人…
原來，我一D都唔認識佢…

原來真係有人做戲可以做得咁澈底，佢應該可以去拎奧斯卡。
不過，紙係包唔住火o架。講一個大話去襟另外一個大話，到最後始終都會被揭穿。
今日，9年後，終於真相大白。

但係我發現我已經唔可以再相信任何人…
包括我自己男朋友，即使佢鍾意o左我5年…
無論我幾想信佢，幾覺得自己刁蠻任性唔成熟…
我都依然會質問佢做o既o野同去o既地方…

我好討厭咁樣o既自己…

[ 本帖最後由 Sakura 於 2008-9-29 20:11 編輯 ]

Sakura

Well..I dun even like him anymore..
But it's just that when I found out last nite..
I still got so upset cuz I felt like I've been lied to even more..
When it shouldn't even matter anymore..

He called me today and asked me wut that girl and I talked about..
And he said I m not respecting him cuz I m talking to his frd about him without his permission...

Sakura

Well, he's 心虛 I know that...~
But I dun get y he still has to ask me and pretend he doesn't know~

Sakura

原帖由 akshea 於 2008/9/30 10:30 AM 發表
That sounds like Edison gum.. I know a couple of his gfs .. same stories

U know a couple of his gfs??
Or couple of ur own??

I know I was stupid back then..
And it wasn't that he was rich or handsome or anything..
But u know, if u love someone there shouldn't be a reason...
Then of cuz at that time I was blind...
And he was my first bf...

We broke up for 2 years now and I hv a bf for a year alreadi..
But I duno y I still get upset when I found out..
And I just can't trust people as much as I did back then..~

And to cover up his lies to his current gf(s),
he deleted me and the girl that chatted with me off facebook as well~
Apparently he called her too last nite and told her not to bother his frd and dun bs stuff to me..

[ 本帖最後由 Sakura 於 2008-9-30 11:51 編輯 ]

Sakura

原帖由 akshea 於 2008/9/30 12:48 PM 發表
I know a couple of his gfs... he has tons of gfs la..

If u know him..then u must know me ba...
U know a couple of his gfs..
So u knew he was cheating?? Or u just know he has a lot..??

Sakura

How did u know him..
Omgosh I am even more confused now..

Sakura

原帖由 mui122 於 2008/10/1 12:55 AM 發表
so sakura ure saying u dated EDISON for 6 years???
cuz Akshea was saying she knew a couple of EDISON's gfs....prob not a couple of ur ex' gfs
unless ur ex is in fact edison

Ooh...see? I am so out of it now~ lol~
EDISON's gfs....that I dun care~ lol~

I do try to trust people more but for some reason I find it very hard...
Even if I control myself and not ask my bf about stuff..
I would still not feel very good inside...and I will just bottle it up..
Then when something happens, that's the 1st thing I will question him about...
I do want to trust him...and other ppl...but I dun even know if it's possible anymore..

Sakura

原帖由 news 於 2008/10/1 12:04 PM 發表
hmmm...how come axxholes can have many gfs???

I have no idea..lol~
Maybe they cover themselves up pretty well..
Or all their gfs were so stupid like me..~

Sakura

原帖由 mui122 於 2008/10/1 09:06 PM 發表
assholes have their ways
they can talk themselves into or out of anything

I understand the trust issue thing
Ive struggled with it (and probably still struggling with it)
but thats something ure gonn ...

Well, my bf knows me for 6 years already and liked me in those 5 years~
So he knew what was going on and I also told him about it..
I told him I can't trust him right now..even if I wanted to..
And I really try hard but at this point I just can't trust people..
He seems to be very understanding~ He said he will try his best to gain my trust back~
So I am grateful~

Sakura

I guess that's a good one~
Trust but be skeptical of things..
But I'd be doing that all the time then~ lol

The thing is tho, he always promise me he will do things and never does it!
Then he says, "Well I can't change in a day" or "I can't help it." or "My memory is not that well.." or "I am tired, I don't have time."
So whenever he says he will do something, or he will rmb to do something next time..
I always tell him, "睇o下點" or "聽住先啦" or "Whatever..I dun believe u"
And it just makes things so much harder for me to trust him..