唔開心+開心 facebook, 加拿大, 朋友

Blue

今日好唔開心﹐因為屋企人既問題..
搞到朝早就喊喊喊﹐覺得好委屈﹐好難過..
本來一個好好既日子﹐變得好掃興..
本來可以再見返好多個因為返學同工作而好耐無見既朋友
同埋可以再同一D就快要離開加拿大既朋友玩
但係最後都因為一個衰人破壞晒..
真係好唔明白點解係一家人做人都要做成咁。

但係就因為咁﹐我同D朋友講個event cancel左~
個個人不論係返緊工﹐返緊學﹐做緊野都send sms俾我..
不但無怪我搞到無左個event﹐仲個個都問我有無事﹐叫我唔好唔開心..
全日我不停地收sms, msn, facebook msg, 個個人只係叫我唔好唔開心..
分別個個唔同圈子既人都約我出去﹐散下心..
有D連有野聽日要交既都同我出黎..
有D返工返到夜晚12點幾都打電話話陪我聽日出街..
有D零晨開工既都諗住一放工﹐早上接我去食早餐..
全部好忙既人都為我而騰D時間黎陪我..

本來係好唔開心既一日..
但最後其實我好感動..>_<

唔知有幾多個frd係會見到﹐亦知道係我..
但係如果你知既﹐我好多謝你地對我咁好

Blue

sounds like lik thinks I'm a guy.. Haha..

Well.. I don't know if it sound ridiculous for me to cry about
but today I'm 22 already

Ever since I got into university, the workload and my pt job leaves me no time
I haven't seen my frds since forever and I miss them lots
Some of them always complain to me that they don't see me anymore
when I was in HS my bday falls on spring break for sure
but in university it doesnt happen anymore
this year it just happens to fall on Easter so most ppl r free to hang out

I couldn't really get a place to fit them all
so I mean wth .. Just get them to my place for potluck..
I told my bro thats what gonna happen on my bday
but he said he has other plan for that day like getting his frds to come over
I asked him if he can move it to other place since I hardly ever throw a party
and he does it every week for like a year already
then he said its no problem but me letting him know 1.5 days b4 hand is just rude
I told him I haven't planned it for long and I forgot to mention it earlier but its not too late
He kept on questioning me who is coming over and what type of person each person was
how I know them, where I know them , their occupation, their age, etc
i just think its getting outta hand snd its just lame that he takes ppl over
and i never question them and give them dirty looks...

He went to invesigate the very details like what would u do in this potluck party
and come on!! Its self explanatory... What can i do on a potluck party??
no, no one will be doing drugs or making magic brownies!!
For god's sakes most of my frds r uni students or grad
or ppl who have their own business.. They know better what not to do

So he starts looking for other stuff to pick on
he complains that my frds help me clean up after the party is not right
and since my frds are responsible for their own mess and tidy up the place
that makes me a very irresponsible person even though i was cleaning up as well
went on how i should not have the party because mom was mad about it
they r adults and they know not to leave me all the mess and that gets him mad??

Of cuz the lecture went on and on and if i insist to have the party
he might come ruining the party or he might use this as an excuse n beat me up again
so at the end i caved and i just said ok i just wont haf a happy birthday this yr

Wut upsets me is not only the party is cancelled but y he has to ruin my day like that
now my frd is leaving canada very soon and i dont get to meet up with her anymore
as my family member i thot they could b hapi for me for at least 1 day per yr
y he has to keep making excuse to get me upset?

There r lots if family issue involved and i know my family hates me
but its not like i chose to be born in a family where no one loves me
i wish they can be happy for me just 1 day in a yr

Blue

i guess it does make me sound like a cry baby..
but after 22 yrs of suppression, i guess its only fair for me to act like that when i cant take it anymore..

i've been working since im 16.. when everyone is just going to school, im working my ass off.
once i got into uni, i had to work full time sometimes and go to school fulltime..
at some point, i know im just gonna collapse not emotionally, but physically.
but nth to complain, b/c im just not as lucky as other ppl..
my father abandoned us and my mom is giving money to my older bro, but not me.
not that i wanted money, but all i want is someone not stealing money from me.

no one understands my pressure from school and work.. and also from my family.
i hafta make so much money to survive and at the same time i lose alot of time for school.
everyday the hours i sleep is like 4-5 hours. maybe its a lot to some ppl..
but its quite tiring for me as it went on for 5 years already..
i guess im just not as tough as other ppl.. but physically im worn out.
when problems happen, im always on the losing side b/c im born as a girl.
i was born as a jinx, yet my bro is born as a king.
i understand that complaining does me no good so i worked like i nv worked b4.
they wont get it b/c they nv been to uni and they dun get the pressure from school
they dun get the pressure from work cuz they dont really work either..
as i explain to them that i feel like passing out sometimes they just claim im lazy as hell.

like Lik said its life.. i agree..
but all i wish is sometimes they could care about me as a human being
i just hope that as my family i will get some support
i just thought that after so long i nv asked them for a favor, and here's one.

of cuz my bro can give me ****..the whole family supports him..
he beat the crap outta me and i wanted to call the cops and my mom begs me not to.
they saw him strangling me with cable and drag me on the floor..
i got beat and threatened and i run away from home and mom calls me a brat..

thats y i treasure the chances of me meeting my frds.. they r the world to me.
honestly. when i ran away from home. i only had very lil money on me
i was sitting on the street crying, didnt know where to go..
if i go back home, i will get hurt. if i leave canada and go back to hk, i wont haf a place to stay
b/c my dad is fully paralyzed already and was in coma..
my frd came n picked me up from the street and helped me..
they let me stay with them, they helped me with money issue..
i thot my mom would help me but at the end all i get is that im a brat for being beat up..
so i really dont think my family is that reliable.. or unconditionally bail me out when i'm in need..

i know its not a big deal to most ppl b/c its only my birthday..
but combined with all the stress i get and that triggers me to cry is just not that abnormal..
but wutever.. i just wanted to vent

Blue

原帖由 SAZABI 於 2008-3-21 14:55 發表
yeah, if he beats you up, it is not right.  You can even call the police LOL, or find some friends to beat him up.

Anyways, why not have your birthday party somewhere else?

cuz most ppl live close to me, so i thot it'd be a good location.
i could take it to richmond or elsewhere, but it's more difficult for them.

but its alright. i guess i just split my day with the different groups.

Blue

原帖由 Ultraman 於 2008-3-21 20:56 發表
Yes, I agree 有時有D 野真係無得解釋. But 或者係 favoritism, 又或者係重男輕女, 又或者係XXX...... . That mean we are only guessing (including Blue herself)! My point is, go find out the clear answer bef ...

yeah.. i found out long ago that it was due to 重男輕女..
my father's side relative nv liked me because my mother doesnt get along with them and as they said i look like my mom..
as my bro was born, they treated him like the king of the world
and when i was born, my dad nv came to visit because im a "sit boon for".. =_="
even my grandma's dying wish was to get the whole family to help my bro as much as he need on any occasion..
so my mom purposedly buy me more stuff as i was a kid
1 side is that she treats me like a barbie to satisfy her wants as she nv got as a kid
1 side is to go against what my relative wants ( to treat me like crap n ignore me forever)

that makes my bro feel like im taking everything away from him since he "should: get my share as well..
he always bully me as a kid and i thot its no biggie cuz thats wut kids do..
then one day he told me he hated me ever since b/c i "steal" everything from him..
later on, he lied to get me in trouble n get me beaten up by my dad..
if i tried to tell them the truth, they wont trust me anyways..
its not like i didnt want to seek help but as kid , what can u do if ur parents dont trust u and ur bro do that to u..
i was an A student all the time and i was known as the honest person in the family b/c i hate lying..
but at the end, they chose to believe that their son wont be so bad as i said.. so they chose to believe i lied..
so all i can do is keep quiet cuz the more i say, the more punishment i get from "lying"..

after my dad got outta my life, i thot the abusive part of my life ended but then my bro took over..
whenever he gets mad, he smashed everything in the house and mom can only listen to him to get him to stop..
he kept stealing money from me so i got like no allowence and i needed to work to pay for my tutor..
i told mom how he stole from me and she doesnt trust me or she just wants to avoid the problems..
sometimes when i gave money to my mom and all i see is money from my hand to her hand then to his hands....
of cuz i wont continue to give her money if thats the case..
so she claims i make no contribution to the family..oh well..
it just seems like he really believes "elder bro as dad" saying.. and he controls everything..
so whenever he sees sth he doesnt like, he will do whatever it takes to do it his way..

all i can say is that my family sucks and as soon as i can leave, im leaving..

Blue

原帖由 Traum 於 2008-3-22 23:46 發表

有 -- 小弟我可以犧牲色相來安慰藍小姐架～

-鴨仔力

haha.. wow.. thank you..

Blue

原帖由 SAZABI 於 2008-3-24 23:25 發表
LOL, little girl.  You and your brother sound immature.
But don't worry, you guys are young and things will change as both of you grow up.

im sure i'll see things differently when im older..
its just that its quite hard to tolerate everything all the time..

im pretty sure after im done w/ my degree. im not gonna see them again.