chunsh

回復  大C姐


    肝膽相照？講義氣？但係有句話叫口講無憑喎。
咁世上所以嘢都講個信字就得啦，洗乜鬼寫 ...
fibbi 發表於 2012-10-12 10:01

honestly, the "contract" that those couples signed during their wedding day means nothing to them when they decide to divorce but troublesome (or chance to get some money from their ex-other half)

it is the love between them that matters
time to back to the real life in modern days

fibbi

> 會唔會因為簽咗張紙就會將一個好爛玩嘅男人變小綿羊？
首先點解會揀個爛玩嘅人to begin with？如果你同得佢結婚，就即係願意包容佢嘅缺點。唔好諗住一個人結咗婚會改變，變，都只係會變差。

>如果對方搵到一個更加夾嘅人，就算身體上唔出軌，思想上同你貌合神離又點呢？
結得婚就係想settle down，呢個世界永遠都可以有人更好，係唔係每每見到就飛咗現在嗰個？若要人似我，除非兩個我。無人擔保同任何人相處百份百無問題。係唔係每次見都有個好似夾啲嘅就一齊？

>我覺得尤其係女仔，好似你咁，都係會覺得自己結到婚就上咗岸。唔好講對方，自己都唔可以保證自己５０年不變啦。到某年某月某日，你發現同對方同床異夢，你會因爲你有一張婚書而束縛自己喺呢段婚姻，定係都係有條底線會選擇放生對方？
我話我重視婚姻嗟，但係我唔會覺得自己上岸喎，咩叫上岸？唔洗做有老公養？唔係啵。你估咁多闊太咩。咪又係打份牛工。亦唔代表我會抹殺離婚嘅可能。呢個世界無嘢可以保證不變。相處上嘅問題會儘量work out，但係講到大單嘢例如邊心，第三者，爛賭等等，嗰啲無得忍喎。

fibbi

回復 21# chunsh


    Yeah if you don't believe in the marriage then don't. Marriage is never the only way. Just choose whatever path the couple likes to go. I treasure the meaning/symbol of marriage but doesn't mean that I say marriage can always last forever. Need effort to maintain marriage, same as maintaining any relationship.

ricrick

老套d講句，有d女人對名份睇得好重
對於大c姐呢d甘有自我，甘有信心，甘大的人，是不需要的

其實，名份是什麼呢？只是一個名？
情人，朋友，不同的名分（或說身分認同）對我來說，有不同嗎？多多少少，有吧！互動的方式會不一樣，說話的口氣會不一樣，心思，也會不一樣

如同居密友與兩公婆組成的家，兩者對家的責任都會不同

當我說：「名分是沒屁用的東西，總之我愛你。」作為女人的感受是什麼? 我想知

大C姐

> 會唔會因為簽咗張紙就會將一個好爛玩嘅男人變小綿羊？
首先點解會揀個爛玩嘅人to begin with？如果你同得 ...
fibbi 發表於 2012-10-12 11:11

    我攞出嚟討論啫，你又唔洗太defensive，我真心想聽多啲結咗婚嘅人嘅意見。因爲有時呢啲topic係連最好嘅朋友都好難開口問。

其實我想講嘅係，結婚嘅象徴意義係被離婚呢個制度徹底改變。因爲就算你結婚果陣有幾愛，去到某一個關口（因人而異），可以係第三者，可以係染上毒癮，可以係工作改變，可以係與家人不咬弦，＂離婚＂呢個option就會湧現。

好似inception講過，只有一個概念入咗腦，人就永遠磨滅唔到。點解我話結婚喺＂古老人＂work係因爲佢哋唔會諗離婚呀嘛。

學yuusaku話齋＂以前D人關係有問題時會修補，唔會丟棄＂你冇可能unlearn離婚嘅backup plan，所以去都邊個臨界點先叫做合理理由離婚呢？咁又會唔會同之前大義凜然咁話＂承諾同呢個人行埋人生嘅路＂有衝突呢？

大C姐

老套d講句，有d女人對名份睇得好重
對於大c姐呢d甘有自我，甘有信心，甘大的人，是不需要的

其實，名份是 ...
ricrick 發表於 2012-10-12 11:36

    你可以咁講啦，我係一個真心覺得＂名份＂係多餘嘅一樣嘢，因爲＂乜太＂呢個稱呼代表啲咩啫？

好多呢啲傳統思想係需要保留，但係唔係個個啱用囉。以前結咗婚嘅女人就係夫家嘅人，死後做夫家嘅鬼。你真係做足＂人妻＂嘅三從四德先係叫得做人太太／夫人。

但係呢一代改變咗夫婦嘅形式，興公一份婆一份，經濟獨立，男女平等。我就開始覺得如果選擇做呢個年代嘅＂時代女性＂就要放棄某一啲觀念同名份。

你首先做唔到／唔願做一個稱職嘅媳婦，太太，家嫂，賢內助，老婆... whatever，就唔好恨你可以得到呢份contract。

zuesel

this is a good topic to discuss. obviously, the society has changed, hence the needs of people and their acceptance of social norm and traditions.
i personally believe in marriage as i feel it's a further commitment for both of us and it offers stability and security plus more responsibility. for those who don't believe in marriage or that it's only a piece of paper, they have their reasons too. for those who believe, it's more than a piece of paper. it's the spiritial meaning behind it. I feel it not need to be so black and white. just coz i like rice, it doesn't mean i have to hate congee.

fibbi wasn't being defensive. you asked her questions, she gave you her answers.

大C姐

this is a good topic to discuss. obviously, the society has changed, hence the needs of people and t ...
zuesel 發表於 2012-10-12 14:00

    心態上可以有灰色地帶，但係實際上結同唔結係好black and white㗎噃，好多人分手都係因為各持己見。

都係果句，你搵到一個好愛嘅又同你一樣想結婚就當然結啦。結咗婚down the road有咩問題就學fibbi講，到時先算。但係，點知對方係咪on the same page呢？點同對方講，＂你係愛我就結婚，唔結就分手啦＂我想知有冇人咁瀟灑講過，同埋後果係點囉。

fibbi

回復 28# 大C姐

discuss吓嗟，咁都defensive？
anyway，如果拍拖到咁上下但係大家無一致嘅future plan，對方無諗住組織家庭嘅話，咁就拜拜囉。好來好去，無咩話難開口。

大C姐

回復  大C姐

如果拍拖到咁上下但係大家無一致嘅future plan，對方無諗住組織家庭嘅話，咁就拜拜囉。好來好去，無咩話難開口。fibbi 發表於 2012-10-12 14:16

我好欣賞你好清晰你自己要啲乜，你係要結婚生仔，那怕對方係劉德華咁嘅條件，佢俾唔到個名份我都要拜拜。

但係以我所識好多女孩子都好盲目。首先，男人９成唔會一開始同你講唔想結婚，一定拖住先。做女人，如果係一定要結婚的話，都要搵一個位去題出呢個要求噃。