"Don't even bother what others think of you"... i don't think that'll work.
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 13:48
Please refer to Mencius teaching:
Thoroughly examine yourself and find no shame,
even though thousands of opponents , I'll move forward
and, the reform advocate Wang An Shieh
I will not fear when the sky change
I dare not to follow my ancestors' footsteps
I would not be shaken by the loud voice of oppositions
I can tell you the verse in Chinese.
Is it wrong being a nerd? Studying at the corner while all your buddies have gone to play?
Is it wrong to say no homosexuality, drug , and causal sex?
Yes, it is not political correct, and yes you'll be unpopular, but I have faith and I move toward my destiny.
It is not easy being young
One of my friends used to be like that and he cared so much about how people would think of you and he would go over every sentence in his mind before saying it. But he was totally ...
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 16:30
i guess it's part of growing up.
no one can say they have 100% self confidence all their life.. haha if they say that they are just purely arrogant and nowhere close to humble :p just bluffing~
i'm not saying ignore completely.
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the oth ...
chocobun 發表於 2009-4-17 15:22
that's exactly what i mean by "When I base my selfworth on how others view me"
ACHEE, exactly what are you looking for? Could you give an example or elaberate on your question a bit more or have some kind of sinario?
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the oth ...
chocobun 發表於 2009-4-17 16:22
Agree with you.
One of my friends used to be like that and he cared so much about how people would think of him and he would go over every sentence in his mind before saying it. But he was totally stressed out to the point he could handle it no more and then he went to the other extreme.
Now he is much more balanced as he becomes more mature.
Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself of ...
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 16:18
i'm not saying ignore completely.
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the other person wasn't even criticizing.
some people would modify their actions and change who they are just because of listening to a sentence or two that others are saying
Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself off from the surroundings, but actually it is not likely to help you build up the self-confidence.
I used to lack of self-esteem as well (maybe I am still be) and it took a long process to slowly build up the self-confidence. It is not just keep telling myself who I am and do not care how other people think about myself.
It, in fact, is a process of starting from very small tasks & goals. By achieving those small goals and moving to bigger goals, I slowly build up the self-confidence that way.
發表於 2009-4-17 09:36
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