ACC-HE

"Don't even bother what others think of you"... i don't think that'll work.

somewhereintime

Would be difficult when you are still green.
I managed to do it when I was 30 and it works

ACC-HE

haha... 'cause you've built your resume, and ppl just automatically respect you?

chocobun

it works... maybe not 100% care about what other people think, but over time you'll start to care less. it takes time.

i used to think about every single movement or sentence i do or say... just because i care about what anyone would think, even if i dont know that person... back then i have no self confidence at all.  but then it got too stressful so i decided to learn to ignore what people think. for people you dont know like strangers on the street, who cares what they think cuz you dont even know them and you would most likely never bump into them again? as for those who you know, as long as it doesnt harm others, it's your life... who are they to tell you what to do or look down at you for what you do? afterall you just live once, if you worry about what others think too much you'll miss out lots in life.

just do something that you like to do and you are good at, then you'll achieve self-actualization... then you'll have confidence in yourself. when you dont care too much of others might think you wont brag about it and you can stay humble.

somewhereintime

haha... 'cause you've built your resume, and ppl just automatically respect you?
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 14:04

People know me well would forgive my short come
I treat people with sincere and faith, and is from my heart,
whatever they think is not something I can control;
say I would donate half of my liver to my ailing friend if it would
save his live (not die for him, I'm not that generous yet):

zuesel

In my opinion,

you can be self confident and humble when....
-You are sure of yourself but don't have to show it off all the time.
-Your actions don't intimate others.
-You don't feel that you (know it all) and you open to others opinion. You discuss instead of argue to win.
-You are well knowledged but don't feel that you know everything!
-Know that you can always learn something from someone else
-You are sure of yourself but can still have room for improvement
-You are not always try to compete with others

I know I am confident yet humble:
-When others seek my opinions and ask me for advise.
-When others pay attention to me when I speak
-I don't need tangible things to make me feel confident. Ie: Wealth or feel low self esteemed if I don't have a LV bag.

I know I am not humble and not cofident (but thought that I am) when:
-I make sure that my voice is heard by others
-I crave for attention
-I am not open to others suggestions
-I am always wanting to correct and critical of others
-Others respond by ignoring me
-Others like to challenge me
-A discussion always turns to a debate or argument
-I look down on others
-When I base my selfworth on how others view me

rockypath

Don't even bother what others think of you.
somewhereintime 發表於 2009-4-17 14:43

This is a very classic behaviour example of having low-confidence & lack of self-esteem.

Littleprince

okay.. back to the topic... So.. how can one be truly humble yet also self-confident?
ACC-HE 發表於 2009-4-17 14:33

there isn't any conflict at all, why?

rockypath

14# chocobun


Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself off from the surroundings, but actually it is not likely to help you build up the self-confidence.

I used to lack of self-esteem as well (maybe I am still be) and it took a long process to slowly build up the self-confidence. It is not just keep telling myself who I am and do not care how other people think about myself.

It, in fact, is a process of starting from very small tasks & goals. By achieving those small goals and moving to bigger goals, I slowly build up the self-confidence that way.

chocobun

14# chocobun


Ignoring inputs from surroundings (ie. how people feel about or look at you) is a psychological self-protection mechanism. You might feel you are more confident by cutting yourself of ...
rockypath 發表於 2009-4-17 16:18

i'm not saying ignore completely.
i'm just talking about how some people would care about every sentence other people would say and elaborate it in their minds and stress themselves out when the other person wasn't even criticizing.

some people would modify their actions and change who they are just because of listening to a sentence or two that others are saying