Not that easy... if it happened (which I highly doubt) it has to be done behind my bf's back as he is strongly against paying lai gum and he said he wouldn't let his parents do it...
sorry, but your bf is such a ___________!!
try to date out your future lai-lai, & your mom, & just you. just the three of you SANS your bf. all women, talk about it directly & openly, so it clears up. AND you 3 women deal about it UNDER the table. if your bf is acting like that, then i don't think it's possible for you to ever marry him.
Not that easy... if it happened (which I highly doubt) it has to be done behind my bf's back as he is strongly against paying lai gum and he said he wouldn't let his parents do it...
U gotta explain to him that it is part of the chinese culture. (I bet you have done it already)
Think about it... are you willing to be with someone, who doesn't give a damn of your culture, for the rest of you life?
Think about it. It doesn't look like he is going to change his attitude a bit about respecting you and your chinese cultures. I'm saying that based on how you described the cases and his attitudes throughout the years you've been together. Can you really tolerate this behavior? As you've said, it's no longer just about culture differences anymore. It's about how you two interact with each other, and above all, love and respect.
Sigh... I can't blame him totally because I think it's his parents' fault. You have no idea how proud his mom is for having kids like her own especially my bf... my bf is the youngest among the 4 and the only one who actually has a career... I don't even know what the older three are doing... yet his mom is so proud... my bf is not good at handling pressure at all (so can't push him too hard which I did...) and I don't even know anything about his older brother... they both dropped out from university (but at least my bf already saw his career so degree became less important). His mom had been telling me that my bf was born and raised in Canada so it's normal for him to act the way he does yet his mom, at the mean time, repeatedly told me that she is very traditional... and when I talked to her, she would go tell my bf and twisted what I say and my bf just got really upset for what "I" said... so very lame... I just can't really trust her anymore... the entire family is in their own little paradise and can't take others' opinions...
Maggie, not to convince you or make you feel even sadder...... The fact is, even true Caucasians (white people) would (or even like to) accept Chinese culture and give Lai Gum and dress in traditional Chinese costume la. What made your bf's mom proud of won't make her son's skin from yellow to white gua? He's still flowing Chinese blood inside la! And how come white people will respect and accept Chinese culture, but what make your bf so resists his own culture? If he can't (or doesn't want) to admit/accept that he is a Chinese, how can other people respect/accept him? How can he respect/accept other people? And that's why he can't (doesn't want to) respect/accept you la!
When you keep saying he has so many good things..... , but first of all, if he really loves you I don't see why he can't respect/accept your culture (and actually it is his own culture too!) lor?!
發表於 2008-2-25 08:33
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